Dads say

DAD SAYS...

Don't ask me, ask your mother.

Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.

You didn't beat me. I let you win.

Big boys don't cry.

Don't worry. It's only blood.

Don't you know any normal boys?

Now you listen to ME, Buster!

I'll play catch after I read the paper.

Coffee will stunt your growth.

A little dirt never hurt anyone--just wipe it off..

Get your elbows off the table.

I told you, keep your eye on the ball.

Who said life was supposed to be fair?

The fair's in October.

Always say please and thank you.
That way, you get more.

If you forget,
you'll be grounded till the end of the world.

You call that a haircut?

"Hey" is for horses.

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

Turn off those lights.
Do you think I am made of money?

Don't give me any of your lip, young lady.

You call that noise "music"?

We're not lost.
I'm just not sure where we are.

No, we're not there yet.

Shake it off. It's only pain.

When I was your age ,
I treated MY father with respect.

As long as you live under my roof,
you'll live by my rules.

I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why.

Do what I say, not what I do.

Sit up straight, knucklehead!

So you think you're smart, do you?

What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face.

Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.

If I've told you once,
I've told you a thousand times

You want something to do?
I'll give you something to do.

You should visit more often.
Your mother worries.

This is your last warning.
.
I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel.

What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?

I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!

A little pain never hurt anybody.

I knew how to cook
when I was your age, young lady!

Don't take yourself so seriously,
take what you do seriously!

Laugh at yourself first,
you'll take the bite out of others doing so for you.

You're always a winner if you lose with a smile.

Go tell your mother she wants you.

Any fights, I win!

That's the best way I know to put out an eye!

You could drive a wooden man nuts!

In MY day......

Eat it! It will grow hair on your chest!

Don't forget to check your oil.

Four things come not back:
time past, the spoken word,
the sped arrow and a missed opportunity.

You can want in one hand and spit in the other
and see which one fills up first.

If your friend jumped off a bridge would you?

If I didn't love you so much I wouldn't punish you...
I would let you do whatever you wanted.

Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry.

You have things so easy!

When I was your age
I had to walk to school in 10 feet of snow
up hill both ways!

You're only young once.

You're gonna like it, whether you like it or not!

The early bird gets the worm. Rise and shine!

Don't take any wooden nickels!

Life is a journey
and you've just reached
one of many speed bumps to come.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice!

How many times
do I have to pound that into your head?

I'm not lost, it's just over the next hill!

If you want to do something,
do it because you want to.
Don't do it because someone else did.

As long as you tried your hardest,
that's all that matters.

What do you think this is, your birthday?

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts
then we'd all have a merry Christmas.

Don't believe anything you hear
and only half of what you see.

What do you think I am, a bank?

What part of NO don't you understand?

I don't care what other people are doing!
I'm not everybody elses father!

You're not leaving my house dressed like that!
What will other parents think?

Could those sleeves be any longer?

You look like a bag lady!

Headache remedy:
Put your head through the window
and the pain will be gone.

Worrying about things you can't change
is like a rocking chair...
it gives you something to do,
but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Hurt much? I didn't feel a thing.

I feel for you, but I can't reach you from here.

If you're gonna be dumb, you've gotta be tough.

Didn't your teacher learn you anything?!

You can marry a rich guy just as easily
as you can a poor guy.

It's hard to be good, and easy to be bad.

If you're going to steal a car,
at least make it a Cadillac
(but don't call me asking for bail.)

I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth
and couldn't see what I was saying.

Men are like buses.
Just wait on the corner
and another one will come along.

Don't tell on anybody
unless you tell on yourself first.

Hey, did you hear me talking to you?

. I'm not watching television. I'm resting my eyes.

Don't use that tone with me!

Am I talking to a brick wall?

If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...

Act your age.

Two wrongs do not make a right.

Wipe your feet!

Enough is enough!

Don't make me stop the car!

What did I just get finished telling you?

You know you're always
gonna to be Daddy's little girl...